How One Couple Keep The Flame Going Plus Advice One Self-Love & Critical Decisions Pertaining To Love

Valentine's Day is one of those holidays where there is a bunch of mixed emotions in the air. It could be a celebration for loving your companion, loving thy-self or your friends. Coined by Leslie Knope on NBC's hit sit-com, Parks and Recreation, "Galentine's Day" becomes more of the thing to do these days, a celebration of really cool friendships. We got a chance to catch up with a married couple who are not strangers to the entertainment world, songstress Kiara and husband, producer Justin Craft.


Photo Credit: Visual Culture LLC


How did you and your spouse meet?

I met J at work. Someone sat at my desk, and I was instructed to sit next to him. I’d seen him around and thought that he was cute, so I was happy to sit next to him. I tried to flirt a bit, but he was rude AH. LOL! Instead of being turned off, I was intrigued. I wasn’t used to that type of treatment from men—at all. After that initial meeting, we kinda went to war with one another. Needless to say, I won.

What are your thoughts on how couples once met vs how they met today; online, dating apps; match makers etc.?

I believe that communication and compatibility are the key ingredients in finding your match. So, I think couples today have an advantage. They get to sort through, and get to know, potential mates without wasting a lot of their time. That’s a win!

What sound advice would you give singles to encourage them on V-Day?

It’s just a day. Accept the love that’s available to you in your life. Romantic love isn’t the only love that exists. Also, love on yourself. That’s the greatest love of all.

How do you all keep things spicy?

We have a date night every other week. We tune out the world and get into each other—literally and figuratively. ☺

Describe your perfect date night?

The world completely disappears, so that it’s just the two of you. You get to experience something new, something different. The conversation is A1. The passion is fire. And, the love making gives you life. That’s a perfect date night.

Any advice for newlyweds?

Never lose sight of who you are. Communicate openly and frequently about your wants and desires. And, make sure that your union provides you with the love, tools, and energy that you need to evolve, be whole, and maintain happiness.


How did you and your spouse meet?

We met at work after an insane day of partying. I was hungover and in a really bad mood.

What are your thoughts on how couples once met vs how they met today; online, dating apps; match makers etc.?

Today's battle ground for love is weird. Online dating is different; it has its advantages, but disadvantages. Example, you can connect to a lot of good people at once, but also many dumpster fires, at once, as well. Just be careful.

What sound advice would you give singles to encourage them on V-Day?

Stop looking for love and it will find you. Your soul mate will not come in the package that you think, but that person will come. It’s up to you to understand the timing and understand the gift.

How do you all keep things spicy?

We try everything. You can’t be afraid of sexual desires, not unless it’s killing people. LMAO! We are taught that sex is a dirty thing, and it isn't. Sex is about maturity and understanding. Always give some nasty shit one more try. Nobody gets a bonus, in the afterlife, for having a boring ass bedroom life. Have fun!

Describe your perfect date night?

A perfect date night is not planned; let the night take you. Have a starting point (dinner) and an end point (hotel room). Let the vibe between those two points guide you. To me, it’s more fun to be unpredictable and experience a journey together. Plan surprises. Also, vaping and wine help greatly. Lol!

Any advice for newlyweds?

Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Take your time and learn each other. Don’t focus on owning each other, or trying to ‘fix’ the other person’s soul. It’s about the journey of two people, growing together, and falling in love with the same person over-and-over again.


Photo Credit: Kyle Buthod

Zaundra Grant

We also got a chance to speak with Divorce Recovery Coach, Zaundra Grant, here is what she has to say about the popular day of love.

Valentine’s Day will likely stir a plethora of emotions for some people who are in the middle of their divorce process or who have just finalized their divorce. It’s likely they don’t care to be around couples at all or those giving or receiving gifts. The commercials on television are just as painful as scrolling through their social media feed.

People going through a divorce have a fair share of competing emotions on this day. Not sure they want to spend Valentine’s Day alone, but also not wanting to be a 3rd wheel and most definitely not wanting to be at a restaurant alone in a room full of couples.

For some, Valentine’s Day was the day of the proposal and for many, it’s their anniversary date! After all, no one ever got married thinking they’d one day get divorced. Moreover, if neither of those mentioned above is true, it is still a day that represents memories of what is now the past and is no longer.

Now, it may be too late to plan a quick get-away, however, here are a few Valentine’s Day celebration ideas for those who are divorced:

Treat yourself, after what you’ve been through self-love is critical for you:

Spa Day treat yourself to a luxury spa, facial or massage at home or your favorite facility.

Have a Fun Night with other single friends, dinner and or adult bowling wine/game nights are just as fun as well.Cook a special meal with friends and make it extra special and extra fun.

Get out of your norm, go and attend a play or concert.

Take the day off, buy yourself flowers, chocolates or a special gift. Plan to spend time alone getting to know this version of you. The person you have become now that you are divorced. Plan to enjoy a relaxing bath complete with candle, relaxing music and a good book. Then put on those special pajamas, order in and watch your favorite movies.

Also, for those considering divorce, spend some time getting clarity on the following:

• Have I done all I can do to save this marriage? Realizing it takes 2 to make a marriage, it will also require 2 to save a marriage. There is never a time when only 1 can save it.

• Is staying in the marriage more painful than leaving? Divorce is not easy, and life after divorce is even more challenging. Weighing the advantages and disadvantages of both are crucial. Consider speaking with a trusted friend who is divorced about their experiences. Also, meet with a friend who has done the work to save their marriage.

• Seek assistance from a therapist, clergy or coach, someone that will ask the questions to which only you have the answers which help you realize your very own truth and who can offer you support in accepting, owning and then living out your truth no matter what you decide.

Divorce should be considered and looked at as an injury. It is actually a mental, emotional and financial (and for some spiritual) injury. So as with any other injury healing is required. A significant part of that healing includes learning to love you again also known as Self-Love. You are not the person you were when you first got married. You are not the same person you were when the divorce was filed. It is in learning whom you have become that you begin to discover who you are and how to love this version of you.

Here are a few questions to write out or journal on to help you with Self-Love now that you are divorced:

The number 1 key to self-love is forgiveness. You must forgive yourself. To get clear on this, write a list of all the things you need to forgive yourself for. (For example: Not taking better care of yourself, for not standing up for you, for allowing others to misuse you.)

Give yourself permission to be who you were created to be. Ask yourself, what do you value, love, enjoy and appreciate most about you? Whatever it is, be that more often!

Decide what you desire and be relentless about doing whatever it takes to make your desires your reality. Remember, the only permission you need is yours. The only one standing in your way is you, and the only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself.

Be deliberate about who you chose to be and how you show up. Be intentional in all areas of your life and stop apologizing for things that you are not responsible for. Choose happy, choose peace, choose joy and whatever you do, do it with integrity, passion, and love.

Be sure to visit Zaundra Grant's website:

Follow her on Facebook @IAmMajorMark

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day weekend however you may choose to celebrate it, remember to include yourself.